NOTE: these are the words that I wrote to myself on October 31st 2016, the day in which I left my then-current company. The piece was written with the intent of being published, in case people who regard my opinion (future me hopefully included) on working things can have a look at how I reflect on my own decisions. Happy reading!
Dear future me,
here’s you at the very end of your experience at Sytac.
Yes, you multiple personalities weirdo.
As of today you are not anymore on office as the CTO of Sytac, the IT consulting company you’ve part of in the last two years. As your memory is proverbially awful, I hope these notes will give you a better perspective on how you feel at the moment, surely a better one than what you think you had.
Yes, you quitter.
It’s not the first time you leave colleagues you loved behind, and you firmly believe that either you are part of the solution, or you are part of the problem. Yet to leave is like declaring to the general public that you believe to be part of the problem, so what’s up with that?
Well, that’s true. With all your ideas and suggestions and big mouth and stuff, you weren’t able to fix the problems that always bothered you, making you 100% part of the problem, certified. Deep inside you almost always knew that you were not cut for leading Sytac to revolutionize itself on your terms, and maybe that was even a foolish thing to hope for in the first place.
Yet, you wanted to believe and ran circles around the main issues without facing the biggest obstacles first. You feared you would have crushed on them anyway.
So yes, better leave and give way to the new. But remember: next time, face the biggest issues first, or else you might find yourself wasting precious time chasing windmills.
Yes, your ego.
As pretty much everyone that ever wrote some software, you have a big thirst for the alpha-nerd recognition. You did prove yourself here, so much that you earned the C level. That was a morality booster for you, wasn’t it?
The thing is, for you the most important part of getting up the ladder is to prove yourself that you are capable of handling the bigger headaches that any new accomplishment comes with. One step up, and you take due note that ok, that is something you can do if you want. You fed your ego enough, time to move on.
At this point you have evolved from an insecure, awkward nerd into an accomplished professional who craves stage time and public attention. Your ego has inflated enough, and at the moment you look at that CTO thingy more as an uncomfortable position: if you are the top dog, who will you learn from?
But by now you know it all too well, that you care almost nothing for what step of the ladder you occupy: do something great and do it good, that’s what makes you open your tail like a
Yes, you sissy.
Despite your quite evident issue of logorrhea, you missed many occasions in which you could open your damn mouth when it really mattered. You saw potential and you didn’t fight to realize it. And you know why? You didn’t think you could win it. And maybe you could not, but that’s beside the point.
Make sure you always try your best, and if you think that’s not enough then be open and admit failure. In software as in life, fail fast is always the best option for everyone involved.
Yes, you blatant fool, time to close this psycho letter.
The past two years have been an interesting journey, and you did grow personally and professionally and you did things you never dreamt you could handle. And as you know yourself good enough, that can only mean that bigger challenges are ahead.
Brace yourself, for the journey and keep your focus sharp on things that really matter to you. But as you who read this is me in the future, you know that better than me.
A si biri in bon’ora.